How to make friends in a new city

Your first few months in a new city are the best time to meet people. You have free time, you are open to new things, and you do not have a fixed routine yet.

Say yes to as many invitations as you can, even when you feel tired or unsure. Each event is a chance to meet someone new who knows other people in the city.

Talking to new people is often better than you expect. In a study of commuters, people who talked to a stranger enjoyed their journey more than people who sat alone, although most people predicted the opposite.¹

Friendships grow when you see the same people regularly. A weekly routine gives you fixed places where you meet familiar faces.

• Join a class or a club that meets on the same day every week.
• Go to the same café, gym, or park at the same times.
• Choose a regular activity that you enjoy, such as running, yoga, or board games.
• Say hello to the people you see often, and learn their names.

After a few weeks, familiar faces become people you talk to. After a few months, some of them become friends.

Short conversations count too. In one study, people felt happier and more connected on days when they had more brief conversations with acquaintances, such as classmates or even a barista.²

Many cities have groups for people who are new to the area. The people in these groups are in the same situation as you, so they are also looking for friends.

Look for newcomer groups, international groups, and language exchanges. If you moved from another country, look for a group of people who speak your language. It can help you feel at home while you build a wider circle.

Your neighbourhood is full of opportunities to meet people who live close to you. People who live nearby are easier to see often. Here are some easy ways to start.

• Visit local markets, festivals, and community events.
• Check the noticeboards in your library, community centre, and local cafés.
• Give your time to a local cause through volunteering.
• Introduce yourself to your neighbours.

Ask your friends and family if they know anyone in your new city. An introduction from a friend makes the first meeting easier for both people.

Your colleagues are also a good start, especially if they grew up in the city. Ask them for recommendations, and say yes when they invite you somewhere.

Moving to a new country adds challenges, such as a new language and a new culture. However, these challenges give you opportunities to meet new people.

For example, a language class gives you a teacher and a group of other learners. You see the same people every week, and many of them are new to the country too.

A language exchange pairs you with local people who want to learn your language. You help them practise your language, and they help you practise theirs.

Try to make friends with local people as well as other newcomers. Local friends help you understand the culture and introduce you to their friends.

When someone invites you to something, invite them to something in return. This turns a single invitation into the start of a friendship.

Suggest a specific plan, such as a coffee, a walk, or a visit to a place that you both want to see. Read our guide to making friends as an adult for more ways to turn acquaintances into friends.

Almost everyone feels lonely at some point after a move. It is a normal reaction to a big change, and it usually gets better as you build a routine.

Stay in touch with friends and family at home, keep your weekly activities going, and be patient with yourself. Talk to a doctor if loneliness affects your sleep, your mood, or your health. Health experts treat long-term loneliness as a serious health risk.³ The good news is that regular contact with other people helps, and every step in this guide is a way to build it.

Mingle Meetup IRL helps you find meetups and clubs near you for the activities that you enjoy. It is a good way to meet people as soon as you arrive in a new city.

You can chat with the group before you go, and you can create your own meetup for free. Read our safety guidance before you meet someone for the first time.

Your new city will feel like home sooner than you expect. Say yes to invitations, build a weekly routine, and give each friendship time to grow.

I hope you meet new people in your new home. If you have a question or a story to share, you can contact us.