How to make friends in your 20s

Until your 20s, you saw people your age every day at school or university. When your studies end, that daily contact ends too.

Your friends start jobs in different places, and some move to other cities or abroad. Some settle into relationships, while others travel or keep studying.

Everyone is at a different stage, so making plans gets harder. This happens to almost everyone in their 20s. It is worth the effort to keep your friendships going, because research shows that strong friendships are good for your long-term health as well as your happiness.¹

It is easier to keep an old friendship than to build a new one. A small amount of regular effort keeps a friendship alive, even when you live far apart, and that effort can be as simple as a short message.

That short message also means more than you might think. Research shows that people appreciate a message from a friend much more than the sender expects, especially when the message is a surprise.² Here are some simple ways to stay in touch.

• Send a message when something reminds you of a friend.
• Organise a regular call with your closest friends, or start a group chat.
• Plan a visit or a trip together once or twice a year.
• Remember birthdays and important moments, such as a new job or a move to a new home.

Do not worry about who sent the last message. Even when your friends are busy, they still appreciate your messages.

At university, clubs and societies made it easy to meet new people. After university, you need to find groups like these yourself.

Look for adult versions of the same things, such as sports leagues, running clubs, choirs, and drama groups. Many of these groups welcome beginners, and their members are often in their 20s.

Choose a group that meets every week. Seeing the same people regularly is what turns them into friends. Our guide to making friends as an adult explains why.

Work is one of the few places where adults see the same people every day. Your colleagues can become good friends, especially people who joined your workplace at the same time as you. Here are some ways to get to know them better.

• Have lunch with colleagues instead of at your desk.
• Join or start a sports and social club at your workplace.
• Say yes to after-work plans, even if you can only stay for a short time.
• Invite a colleague to an activity outside work that you both enjoy.

If you work from home, you have fewer opportunities to get to know your colleagues. In that case, plan more of your social life outside work, for example with a weekly activity.

Activities give you a reason to meet and something to talk about. Here are some activities that are popular with people in their 20s.

• A running club or a football team.
• A board games night or a video games group.
• A karaoke night or a trip to a festival with a group.
• A cooking class or a food and drink meetup.
• A networking event for people in your field.

You can find more activity ideas on the activities page.

Many people in their 20s share a house or a flat. Your housemates and their friends are a good way to start.

Cook a meal or watch a film together, or invite your housemates to an event. A shared home with friendly housemates also makes it easier to invite other people over.

Many people want more friends but wait for an invitation. When you host, you create the invitation for everyone else.

Start with something small, such as a dinner, a games night, or a walk. Invite a few people who do not know each other yet, and ask each person to bring one friend.

If you feel nervous about hosting, remember that people probably like you more than you think. Research shows that after a first conversation, most people underestimate how much the other person liked them.³

You can also create a meetup for an activity in Mingle Meetup IRL. Creating a meetup is free, and people nearby who share your interest can request to join.

Social media shows the best moments of other people's lives. It can make you think that everyone else in their 20s has a large group of friends.

In reality, many people your age feel lonely or want more friends. Use social media to stay in touch and to make plans, not to measure your own life.

Friendships change in your 20s, and that is not a bad thing. The friends you make now through shared interests can stay with you for many years.

Choose one idea from this guide and try it this week. If you have a question or a story to share, you can contact us.